Self Soothing: Not Just For Babies

As a parent you read about the importance of your baby learning to self soothe. This is something that they (books, pediatricians, etc.) recommend that you wait until the baby is older (our pediatrician said 4 months at the youngest) because first you have to teach a baby to trust you and recognize that you are going to take care of him by responding to all of his cries (hungry, tired, sleepy, and so on...) But once this trust has been established, it is important for the baby to learn to put himself to sleep in his crib by self soothing. Basically self-soothing is the process of unwinding and relaxing so that you can fall asleep.

We have just started this with Phinn in the last few weeks and so far so good. I hesitate to compliment or boast too much because there is the law of parenthood that states as soon as you say your baby is great at __________ or loves _____________, he inevitably stops doing it or dislikes it. But as I said so far so good. We've been able to put him down for naps and bedtime and after five or ten minutes of fussing, fidgeting in his crib, or talking, he will be down for the count. On occasion though, he does need some assistance winding down which comes in the form of holding his hand(s), stroking his cheek, or rubbing his tummy. Usually after a few minutes of soothing help, he is fast asleep.

While you read about the importance of self-soothing for babies, we don't think about the importance of self-soothing for ourselves. Its so easy, especially as a mom, to get wrapped up in everything you need to accomplish - laundry, make dinner, feed the baby, empty the dishwasher, grocery shopping, bathe the baby, and the list can go on indefinitely as it always seems to! I am learning that in order to be my best as a mother and wife, I need to find ways to self soothe. For me this usually comes in the form of exercise. To me there is nothing a good, long run can't fix! I also feel that way about bubble baths and good books that come with a big cozy chair and cup of coffee, but those two seem a little harder to come by these days. However, this weekend I got to try something new...

My incredibly thoughtful husband who saw how tightly wound I was in February got my a gift certificate to Spa Minerale for Valentine's Day. It came with strict instructions that I need to use it within the next few weeks and while I was there I would have to relax, put my feet up, and drink champagne and eat bonbons. Tough stuff, right?! At first I was a little bummed, a spa trip by myself... that is something you are supposed to do with your girlfriends. I was going to be all alone. And then I thought about it again, I was going to be by myself and I was kind of excited. I could read a book. I could zone out. I could totally let my mind run free.

How awesome and relaxing does this room look?!
Spa Minerale is part of the Landsdowne Resort in Leesburg, VA

So I booked a massage for this past Saturday. As I laid on a soft chase lounge, sipping my yummy cucumber water and nibbling on some dried fruit and nuts (Unfortunately, there was not champagne and bonbons!), I took in each second, fighting my urge to think about things that need to be done, and instead tried to relax and just be in the moment. And then it was time for my massage, and I had a wonderful masseuse who had me forgetting about my tasks and lists and completely relaxed within minutes. It was just what the doctor ordered! I left the spa feeling refreshed and not to overlook a back with muscles relieved of the month of tension I had built up from stress, exercising, and carrying around my little guy.

While I know I can't indulge in a trip to the spa every time I feel the need to self soothe, it was much appreciated! I came home feeling relaxed both physically and mentally. I got the closest thing to a full night's sleep that I've had since Phinn arrived. It was glorious!!

Lesson learned: Its important to make YOU time whether it is as extravagant as going to the spa or as simple as taking the time to do something you love like running, reading, cooking. While I am a wife and mother and am absolutely in love with being both of those things, I am still ERIN and I need to take time to be her too :)