Mama Needs A...

For the past two weeks, I have been trying to get Phinn on a schedule to make my transition back into the working world easy on the whole family. And let's just say it is not going according to plan.

He is a GREAT night sleeper - going to bed around 8PM, maybe waking up once between 2-4AM for a feeding, and sleeping until 6 or 7AM. He has been pretty consistent with this for a few weeks and his parents are very grateful! However, the poor little guy is terrible at napping. He will display all the signs that he is sleepy- disengages from playing, rubs his eyes, yawns, and eyelids are heavy- but as soon as I transition him to his pack n' play for a nap, he springs back to life. He usually does not have a renewed energy level; instead he is fussy because he wants to nap but I guess not in there.

I have tried to make the pack n' play (which he still sleeps PERFECTLY in at night) more appealing by using a heating pad to warm the bed up (Don't worry I take it out and test the sheet before I put him in there to make sure it isn't too warm.), put up the mobile that came with it, and play soft music or have the humidifier running (like we do at night).

Phinn loved when I added the mobile and is a great diversion when I need a bathroom break or to get dressed.

I have also tried making him more comfortable. I've tried putting him in his sleep sack (which he also sleeps in at night), washing his little cheeks and hands with a warm wash cloth, rubbing his belly after I lay him down, and reading a book quietly and rocking him at the first signs that he is sleepy.

And the best I have gotten is thirty minutes! Most of the time it is fifteen and sometimes even as little as five. However, if I let him fall asleep while I'm holding him and I continue to hold him (CANNOT put him down in his pack n' play), he will sleep sometimes for an hour or more. I would really like for him to be able to take a nap on his own, in his bed, but the poor guy needs some sleep so if I try the pack n' play a few times without success I'll hold him.

That gray thing is me...

Where am I going with all this? Well back to the routine I'm trying to implement...

I have been reading the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. I did not select this book over any others. It was one we had and it had worked for someone else, so I figured why not start there. I never knew a book could make you feel so inadequate!

Tracy recommends her E.A.S.Y. method - Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time - which in theory I like; however, most days Phinn will want to do an E.S.A.Y. followed by an E.A.E.S.Y., and other variations. I can rarely get him to do a plain old E.A.S.Y. She seems to think it is the simplest thing to establish this routine with your baby, but that's when you start this routine at the beginning. I'm starting three months in...

I have tried adhering to E.A.S.Y. for a little over a week now and there are still no naps (Unless I'm holding him which is a "No, No" in the book.). I got so worked up that I have not been able to get my three month old on this simple routine. Am I a bad parent? Am I doing it wrong? I felt incredibly guilty that I was reading this book when he was three months old instead of when he was a newborn or even before he arrived. (Besides doing a couple parenting classes, I did not read any parenting books before he was born. Was that abnormal?)

Needless to say, I got a good cry in yesterday because I had become so stressed about not being able to get Phinn to nap in his pack n' play. I worried that I was destroying his development and he wasn't going to be a smart or adept member of society because I am not able to get him to nap. Fellow mamas I'm sure you know how quickly something as small as napping and its effects gets blown out of proportion in our heads, and all the parenting books and studies do not help! How does anyone ever feel like they are doing a good job when they read all of this stuff?!

And that's when it struck me. Maybe I don't need the parenting books or statistics or studies to raise a healthy and happy child. Maybe I just need my intuition, my noodle, and good values AND at the end of the day an occasional "Mommy's Sippy Cup!"

Have to thank Lindsey Dudrow for this onesie. I saw her daughter wearing it and just knew I had to get one!

Phinn will eventually get on a napping routine. He will out grow needing me to hold him. He is sleeping, just not following a method. The important thing is that he is happy and healthy! But he needs his Mama to be happy and healthy too not fretting and frazzled by her inability to follow a book.

So my new plan is to just keep trying naps and one day it will click, just like everything else with him. And in the meantime I'm going to try to breathe and relax!